.I have been touting the importance of stopping to take a breath and really hearing the other person you’re talking to (or people as it would be) before responding. Do not knee jerk react. Rely on your emotional intelligence. Don’t assume. Oh god, don’t assume. Don’t assume anything. Use your words. USE YOUR WORDS and BE CAREFUL WITH THEM. Don’t beat yourself up if you fuck up here and there – we’re all bound to about a million times or more in the course of our lifetimes. Catch your breath before you jump.
The problem with all of this wonderful advice, of course, is that we can only control ourselves. And I don’t know about you…but everything to me feels like being slammed by a tidal wave right now. It is getting increasingly difficult to control the fear and panic associated with everything happening right now for me. That mental health stability I was talking about a few posts back? Mostly still there – riddled with incredibly bad thoughts – but still there.
It is hard not to think I’m being punished for something right now. I don’t believe in cosmic/universal punishment at all, either, which makes it even harder to reconcile why I suddenly turned that way. I’d imagine this is normal for this level of uncertainty on a daily basis, and I’m hearing from all over that I’m certainly not the only one.
It’s a narrative I’m familiar with – one I bet you are as well – where I cycle through all the awful things that I feel like I’ve done that justifies why I feel like I’m drowning in a rip tide at the moment.
I’ll tell you what I told myself earlier today between breaths and sobs: Where I am right now is safe. It might not be as safe as it used to be, but it is safe. And I’m good. Not just good in a level of life ease, but good as a person. And no one deserves to live thinking anything less of themselves.
So hang in there, everybody. Ride the waves out. Feel what you can, do what you must, and we’ll make it to the other side. I promise.
