I hate Valentine’s Day. I hated it when I was single. I hated it when I was married. I hate it now that I’m single again. I just hate it.
What it boils down to is that Valentine’s Day doesn’t do anything at all for my love languages, or at least the modern iteration of the holiday doesn’t. I really, really have no need for “things”. Thanks to years of not having “things” and more years teaching myself to not need “things” because they were, in fact, unnecessary “things”, I find it insulting when people assume giving me a physical item will make me warm and fuzzy. The thought will always make me warm and fuzzy – and thank you for thinking of me! – but that is literally it.
I think it is important to separate this idea of loving someone and showing someone that you love them.
Quality time and physical touch are my love languages. I do not require something within those moments unless they are shared with the person who just so happens to to be the object of my affection. I am literally at my happiest in a romantic relationship when I can just spend time with my person doing absolutely nothing or doing things like cooking together or making out or whatever. The time I get with said person to me is way more precious than a bouquet of flowers that will die on my table. That is how I feel wanted and that is how I feel loved.
Now..if I was with someone who had acts of service and and receiving gifts as love languages, I’d probably learn to suck it up for Valentine’s Day but I’d also put notes in their lunch and wash silver wear every day if that’s something they hated doing…you do have to learn to adapt, and I know that…but ye gods. Please don’t use an object to show me that you have feelings for me. You’re going to have to actually say it and then show it without a box of chocolates to help you.
