I am somewhat weirdly happy to report that death is indeed forever and I have accepted that.
Tag: CPTSD
Will you be my Valentine?
I hate Valentine's Day. I hated it when I was single. I hated it when I was married. I hate it now that I'm single again. I just hate it. What it boils down to is that Valentine's Day doesn't do anything at all for my love languages, or at least the modern iteration of … Continue reading Will you be my Valentine?
Doctor….What?
I know many folks are likely feeling that call of the void right now, whatever that might sound like. I feel like what I’m hearing most from people now is that the fear and uncertainty and pain is culminating into all of us falling back into the old habits that kept us safe and warm when the world was otherwise the scariest place we could be. I’m going to urge you here to fight it and I’m not going to give you some big song and dance about how strong you are and how much courage you have – because screw that.
Remember to Wear Protection….
It's a hard realization to have...that I've basically spent my life protecting myself from feeling the love and comfort or need of others because I'm too scared of getting used to it and wanting those things before they inevitably are gone. It's why I have a hard time being affectionate unless given permission to be fully affectionate. It's why it seems like my desire to have others in my life is an afterthought. It's why I'm always pleasantly surprised and drawn in when I'm basically told what I mean to someone because my brain is constantly telling me that I'm invisible and that that's the best way to be.
It is a long walk forward.
I'd like to not do that anymore. I'd like to not be afraid of it anymore. And I want to be fully open with the people in my life because I think the ones I have now are more likely to go "Wow, you're weird. I like it" than anything else.
In Return
Love has always been my super power. I give everything I've got. I will crawl through fire, chew through stone, and break everything in me for the people I care about. I don't assume importance and I don't assume permanence. I will stand by that person's side until they decide to retreat or survive in … Continue reading In Return
Manifestation
Onward on this journey..again.....which isn't small or insignificant as I tend to imagine it. I'm tired of doing things on my own. I'm tired of having my back to the wall. I don't want to hurt those around me by making them think that this has anything to do with them. And I want to heal. I deserve that. And I know it.
What It Takes
It takes a lot to fight the demons that plague you. And every swing of your sword should come with a badge of honor that you are still standing.
A Matter of Convenience
Keep up the good fight, all. You never know how wrong you are about this life until it sneaks up on you. And you'll want to be here to find out how that will pan out.
When It Starts to Get Noisy
You aren't alone.